One side effect of aging that most of us readily recognize is our loss of memory. Often underlying that recognition is the fear that we are slipping into some form of dementia. Usually, though, we just can’t remember anything.

We are not alone. The inability to recall names, places, dates, and people we have known for fifty years is one of the things almost all older people share. A friend recently told me, “I can remember your name or your face but not both. Pick one.” I appreciated her offer to let me choose, but honestly, I have little confidence she’ll remember which one I preferred, much less who I am.

There is good reason for our memory challenges. Some memories indeed fade as time passes, but most of the time it’s the burden of increased information competing with what we already have stored. The information may be there, but we may have trouble retrieving the memory we want.

The more unique and distinctive the event, however—a wedding, a historic event, a first raise—the more likely we’ll remember it. Many things don’t make it into our long-term memory at all, so retrieval is harder. Linking to other memories (“Sallie, Ruth and Bob’s daughter, lived in Chili, New York”) helps connect to several points that might jiggle loose a memory.

There are other things you can do, too. If something is important, rehearse it repeatedly. This helps imprint it in your memory. So does, apparently, sleeping after you learn something. (Yet another good reason for a nap.) Visualizing an item, person, or place not only helps you remember it, it can help you retrieve its name which otherwise might get stuck on the tip of your tongue. So, when you find yourself frustrated because you can’t retrieve the word you want when you want it, try to see the item, smell it, or hear it. Using other senses can bring it forth, much in the way a smell, a photo, or a song can bring back long-forgotten memories when you least expect them.

Long-time partners, friends, and family members might joke about stories they’ve told so many times that they use a label. I might simply call out, “Story 1532!” My husband and I have so many of these that, if I forget the story number (which, honestly, I just make up on the fly), he’s known me long enough to remind me. He doesn’t need much prompting to repeat the story himself.

Our memories aren’t a total lost cause, though. It turns out that your brain needs a “mental gym” as much as your body needs a physical one. Keep your brain and memory supple by learning new things. When you learn something new, your neurons can grow new projections, form new connections, and maybe even create new neurons.

Finally, avoid overloading your memory, which is full from a lifetime of, well, living. A great way of doing this is to write everything down. Our minds are data processors, not memory banks. As David

Allen, author of the wonderful book Getting Things Done, observed, the only reason to think about something more than once is because you like thinking about it.

Fortunately, technology offers easy-to-access “memory banks.” Programs like Evernote (evernote.com) let you keep and share records on your phone, laptop and desktop computers so you can capture a thought anywhere and share it anytime. Amazingly, any time I write something down, another thought pops up like a napkin in a restaurant dispenser.

That being said, establishing the habit of writing everything down can be challenging. Make sure you have tools like note savers to help you and, when you find yourself saying, “I need to remember that” all you really need to remember is to write it down.